Smells
by Mini-Chobi
Summary: Have you ever wondered how the Naruto characters smell like? Well, good thing if you have, because today, we are privileged enough to have Inuzuka Kiba here to tell us! Teams 8, 7, 10, & Gai, Sand Sibs, Kabuto/Sound Guys.
1. Team 8

Hey, Inuzuka Kiba here! And Akamaru, as always, is right beside me here... see? We'll be telling you how everyone on NARUTO _smells_. Yes. What they smell like. I bet you never gave it much thought! But a person's scent says a lot about that person, you know! It's terribly important.

Anyway. So I'll start with my teammate, Hyuuga Hinata.

Well, Hinata... mostly she smells like pine wood, and flowers. And I recently realized that her hair smells faintly of strawberry mousse cake. All in all, Hinata has a pleasant scent.

Do you get what I mean now about the scent of a person saying a lot about that person? Hinata herself is a overly nice and pleasant person. She's gentle, and loves nature. That's the wood and flowers.

As for the strawberry cake... why, I guess every female has a inner girly part. In Hinata's case, you can smell the strawberry cake scent. And what colour is strawberry cake? Pink and red, of-course. Extremely feminine. Also quite innocent. Basically, Hinata has an innocent and nice scent. It'd be nice to hug her.

Next up, is my other teammate, Aburame Shino.

Heh... I really dunno how to say it with Shino. He smells like a little bit of everything. Flowers, weapons, metal, wood, dust, dirt, rain, leaves... he even smells a little bit like eggs.

I suppose that it's because of his bugs. They've been everywhere, and so, he smells like everything! While Shino can smell pleasant and perfectly tolerable at times, you can always tell when he just finished training or let his bugs go free, cause then he smells mostly like grass, mud, pine needles, and compost.

Shino's scent is pretty much like an amoeba. It's never the same really. However, I can always tell it's him, cause his clothes, no matter what, always, always, always smell like carrots and old books. I really have no idea why... and don't you go thinking that old book smells bad, cause it doesn't really. It smells alright, actually. Just... I wouldn't hug Shino for long, cause the scent of old book can get to you after a few moments of extreme exposure. Probably a few seconds will do.

And last but not least, is Team 8's sensei, Yuuhi Kurenai!

Kurenai smells like CIGARETTES! I don't know what's up with that! She doesn't smoke, and underneath the smoky scent she actually smells like raw umber and peaches... and also vanilla. I know. Vanilla. What's up with that, eh? Back on topic! About once a week, she'll reek of smokes!

I really don't know what's going on, but I do know one thing, and that's that the smell lingers around her all the time. It smells the worst usually around Fridays. Well, it's stopped now, but it used to be like that before. Actually, it stopped the week Asuma died. Dunno why.

The only exception used to be about mid-month. There would have always been one week that she doesn't smell so strongly of smoke. I loved that week. Cigarettes are hard on my nose. It reeks, you know? Absolutely disgusting. I really need to confront Kurenai about this. But... but it's awkward, you know! Anyway, I would NEVER hug Kurenai, unless it was a life-or-death situation! The cigarettes are too much! Although, the smell is fading now, it's not gone entirely yet!

Well, that's my team for you. All in all, they're not too bad to be around, but Kurenai needs to asked about the ciggy smell.

And well, me? I really don't know I smell like myself. I think I might have to ask someone else. I'm too familiar with my own scent.


	2. Team 7

Ah, I see you're still here! Heh. Anyway, this is still Inuzuka Kiba, telling you how the people in NARUTO smell. Today, I'll be discussing Team 7, or Team Kakashi and Sasuke and Sai.

Perhaps I'll start with the most pleasant smelling person, and work my way to the worst smelling person.

In that case, I'll be starting with... Uchiha Sasuke!

One thing I have to make clear: No, I'm not gay, people. You see, Sasuke smells mostly of lavendar, and lily of the valley, and cornflower. Yes. Those are all flowers. Sasuke smells like flowers.

He also smells strongly of perfume, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and black cherries. I think that this is just the result of fangirls glomping him. Otherwise, no man would dare smell _that_ girly! I mean, he also smells like detergent, oranges, lemons, sugar, vanilla (there it is again! VANILLA ATTACK!!! Mini-wheats!), rosemary, various other herbs, and cinnamon.

That's not manly at all! Sasuke smells like a girl, which is why he smells the best. Girls generally smell better than boys, I'll have to admit. Sasuke smells like the most fragrant of women... so in conclusion, if he was a girl, I'd hug him to death and breathe in all those scents, but alas, he's a guy, and that'd just be awkward.

Next, Haruno Sakura.

True to her name, Sakura smells like cherry blossoms. Around her, it's like it's always Spring, no matter what. Pollen, grass, and cherry blossoms galore around Sakura!

I think she's also trying to smell enticing, because she's started using this perfume. It smells like spun sugar, violet, white musk, and lots and lots of grapefruit. I also think she's using deodorant that has a apricot and peach fragrance, cause she smells like that after training. I can tell cause she smells like sweat then too.

In conclusion, Sakura smells pretty good, but she doesn't have as many great smells like Sasuke. I think I would probably hug her, too!

And then, the first manly smelling person on this list, Sir Hatake Kakashi.

Let's see... it's hard to describe Kakashi's scent. He smells like the more masculine smells of nature -old and huge trees, a tad like earth, and kinda like fuzzy animal. He also smells a little salty, and crisp, like the ocean and beaches, and kind of like miso too. And there's also a hint of metal around him -mostly iron.

But mostly he smells like something I couldn't quite place. The smell is kinda salty, but it isn't the ocean, but it's there and it smells metallic, but it's not like the iron. I couldn't quite put a finger on the smell, until Hinata had a nosebleed a while back.

Blood!

Over the trees, the dirt, the fuzz, the crisp saltiness, the iron, and the miso, Kakashi-sensei smells like blood!

Of-course, all the ninja in the village smell at least faintly of blood, and the scent lingers around the whole ville, but with Kakashi, it's stronger. But it's somehow diluted by the other things he smells like, that it's enough to be prominent, but still unrecognizable. And somehow, with all that blood, he still manages to smell... really good. I don't know how... but who cares! I would probably hug Kakashi too, if he wasn't a man or I wasn't a boy!

And then, there's always Sai.

Sai smells almost like nothing, like air. But he does smell slightly like tree roots and ink. But it's so faint. It's like he doesn't want to have a scent. That's not a good thing to want, by the way. Your scent is part of who you are, and you should never try to lose it.

Back to Sai!

Maybe that's all he's ever going to smell like. To me, he just smells airy. I don't get it though! How can someone smell that faint? The tree root and ink smell is actually pretty nice, you know. It suits Sai somehow, but I guess he's been washing it away a lot!

I don't know how he does it or anything, but he keeps his scent really really... well, I've already used the word faint, so I don't want to use it again so soon... um, well, let's put it this way: if tree roots and ink had a colour, then Sai would be a really really really really pale version of that colour -so pale, it's almost white, but it's still there, like a watermark.

Sai's really strange, but the airiness smells pretty nice all in all. Compared to the rest of the team, he's a welcome relief. The rest of them have mixed scents, foul stenches, indecisive smells, and strangely prominent fragrances! With Sai smelling like air, it pretty much balances everything out. I wouldn't hug him though. It'd be awkward hugging tainted air!

And last, but definetly not least in the stinky compartment, Uzumaki Naruto!

Naruto smells TERRIBLE!! He smells like ramen and sweat and that smell you get when you drink orange juice and then brush your teeth without toothpaste! It's so gross! And his breath is worse, I tell you! It reeks of unbrushed teeth and ramen, and rotting meat and whatnot! And his fart is definitely the worst! It stinks like fucking hell!

Alright, I admit it. I was exaggerating just a teeny tiny bit. Alright, what he really smells of is ramen, apple-scented deodorant, pear-scented shampoo (which clashes horribly with apple deodorant, by the way), and it's like he's never ever washed his clothes... EVER! It's like he just dumped it into a pail full of water and orange juice, which accounts for the bad orange smell.

But his farts are really that bad. I would never hug him if he was farting! I might clap him on the back and then squeeze his shoulders and say he's my stinky but amusing buddy, but I wouldn't go any further than that!

So in general, Team 7 is a well balanced team. Mostly, it's due to polar opposites like Naruto and Sasuke, and then the neutral guy, Sai, and then Sakura and Kakashi just randomly thrown in there. It's a nice mix, and I think a group hug would smell really good!

Just make sure you're not beside Naruto!


	3. Team 10

I never thought that you would still be here... and I never thought _I_ would keep along with this crazy authoress... but this is quite an interesting topic! And so, here I still am, Inuzuka Kiba, telling you how people on the show NARUTO smells!

This time, I'll be telling you about Team 10, which consists of Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji, and Sarutobi Asuma. Remember how, last time, I told you about the best smelling person, and went all the way to the worst smelling person? Well, this time, I'll go the opposite way, and get the worst over with first!

Definitley first on this team, is Sarutobi Asuma.

Mostly, it's that he smokes. It smells like cigarettes around him all the time! Of-course, that's because he's a chain smoker and has a cig dangling from his mouth 24/7. Besides smelling smoky, he also smells like ham!

And that's... really all there is to say about Asuma. He smells like smokes, and ham, and sometimes even vanilla, and I would never hug him, not that I could anyway, since he's dead and all... hey, wait a minute... _Kurenai_ smells like vanilla! And smokes! Maybe... there is a... connection... ?

Onwards! Next is Akimichi Chouji.

Like Asuma, Chouji smells mainly of one thing -oil! His secondary scent, is roast pork. There's some cigarette smells lingering around him, but that goes for the whole team, because of Asuma and all. Anyway, you can't really expect anything else for an Akimichi. What else could they smell of... fish and flowers?

Woah... bad mental scent!

Something interesting: you can always tell what flavour of chips Chouji ate last. Just sniff a) his face, or b) his hands or c) any of his clothing. It's fun... you try! I usually get it right, but I keep getting messed up between ketchup, and barbeque. I don't think there's much of a difference, ketchup's just more sour!

I would probably be able to tell if I could go right up to him and sniff, but that would be really weird. All in all, Chouji smells like food, and if he was what he smelled like, I'd eat him, not hug him. Although I _would_ avoid devouring Asuma's cigarette smells1

And after Chouji, comes Nara Shikamaru.

Shikamaru smells smart! No, actually, he smells like grass. The cigarette smell from Asuma used to be the second faintest on him (Ino never smells like smokes, no matter how long she hangs around Asuma. It's creepy), but now, he smokes. Well, he smok_ed_, but he stopped after a little while. I guess it started to bug him or something!

Now, however, Shikamaru is back to smelling like grass. I guess it has to do with him lying in meadows gazing at clouds all day long. And he also smells salty! It probably comes from the deer he tends and feeds -deer like salty things!

Also, Shikamaru smells faintly of mackerel fish. What's up with that, huh? I personally think that smelling like fish isn't good! But at least Shikamaru smells like cooked fish. If you smell like raw fish, you'll never get a date no matter what! Usually, though, the grass covers the fish smell, and you can't really smell it at all. I, myself, only smell this odour from Shikamaru about once a month.

Occasionally, Shikamaru also smells like make-up. I heard that Ino frequently pranks him and puts make-up on him in his sleep, so that's accounted for!

Now, I don't think that aloe juice smells very manly, though I admit, it smells good. It's pretty sweet! And guess who smells like aloe? Shikamaru, of course... who am I talking about? So in general, Shikamaru smells okay. He smelled REALLY bad when he was smoking, but he's okay now! Grass, salt, and aloe go good together!

And the girl, of-course, always smells best. Here's my account of the dear Yamanaka Ino banshee!

Not only is Ino's voice loud... her scent is extremely prominent and loud too. It's very strong. Mostly, Ino just smells like boquets, which makes sense since she works in a flower shop. But then, she also wears make-up, slathers on various lotions, and uses a weird-smelling shampoo! I shall describe each of those in detail.

Make-up: all of Ino's make-up smells like raspberries. Or, well, her lipgloss does, and nothing else has scents, so... um... yeah... well ANYWAY, she also smells like nail-polish remover, and I can see why! Her nails are different every single day! One day they're blue with silver sparkles, and then they're striped hot pink and neon green. Worst thing is that she shoves them in people's faces. Ugh. But raspberry does smell good, you have to admit to that.

Lotions: well, Ino says she puts on strawberry scented body lotion. It's kinda funny, actually, since the stuff smells more like blueberry cream. But what she thinks, I guess. Whenever the lotion wears off (in her unsensitive nose's opinion -there's actually still a lot of strawberry/blueberry cream smells trailing after her) she usually puts on more, or sometimes, she gets weird, and slaps on some real blueberry scented body lotion. It smells good!

Shampoo: The scent of Ino's shampoo is nostalgic. It's something I can't place, but it's like, you smell it, and you want to say, "Hey! I used to use that shampoo too! I thought they stopped making them! Where'd you find it?" but then, you realize you can't, since you don't know what the fuck it is, and you never used that shampoo, but it smells like you did, but you didn't. Have you ever smelled those shampoos before?

Anyway, Ino smells really nice, I kinda of want to hug her now...

In general, Team 10 smelled alright, but Shika-Ino-Cho without Asuma smells best. Not to be insensitive or anything, but they're better off in terms of how they smell without their sensei. However, Asuma was a nice guy, and we should be nice to his memory and all that crap.

R.I.P. Sarutobi Asuma!


	4. Team Gai

And possibly the last segment to this, unless readers ask for more, how do people on NARUTO smell like! With me, Inuzuka Kiba!

I'm sure you know, through the process of elimination (Shikamaru taught me that phrase!), and the chapter title, that I will be discussing Team Gai today! Hurray!

Actually, I'm not sure what's so happy about it. Team Gai actually smells kinda weird. The team is split into two parts. Gai and Lee smell pretty much the same, ditto for Neji and Tenten. I wonder why!?!!?

So, let's get the worst over first, and talk about Gai and Lee!

They proably smell the same because they hug so much! Anyway, they both smell of sweat, leaves, squirrels, and Axe body spray. Ew! Sometimes, they even smell like Tag! I don't know why anyone would use those stinky things! But Shino told me that some people thinks it smells good. I can't say I agree! It's much too strong!

The only way I'm able to tell Gai and Lee apart from their scent is because Gai smells like Wabble Splash. I saw a bottle in a pharmacy once, and sniffed it. It smells HORRIBLE! I don't know why Gai would even THINK of using it! Lee, however, doesn't use Wabble Splash... or maybe he just doesn't NEED it!

In conclusion (Shikamaru taught me that phrase too!), Gai and Lee just smell really really weird. No wonder they keep hugging themselves! I doubt anyone else would even _want_ to hug them, or be in close vicinity! It's no wonder that Neji and Tenten stay away from them as much as possible!

The pretty boys all smell good, including Neji, and then there's Tenten too, and she's a girl, so she smells good!

Neji and Tenten both smell like pine, but one smells like the birds, and the other of bees. To clarify (Shikamaru taught me that, too...) Neji smells like pine and birds, and Tenten smells like pine and bees and honey!

Neji and Tenten don't hug a lot, actually, they almost never do, so I didn't get why they smelled so similiar (Shikamaru taught me that... again...) until a few weeks ago! I mean, they're not even family! Neji kinda smells like Hinata too, now that I think about it. They both smell like pine.

ANYWAY! I recently found out that Tenten has one of the Hyuuga's Pine Fresh Packs. It's a small packet of strong smelling pine needles that all of the Hyuuga clan carries around with them, and it's constantly (err... Shikamaru _didn't_ teach me that word? Hehe...?) refilled with new pine things! Apparently, Neji gave one to Tenten on her birthday because she was pining for one.

Haha. Get the pun? She was _pining_ for a _pine_ packet?

Back on topic! Neji and Tenten smell really nice with those pine packets! And then, so do all of the Hyuuga clan. I have to get my hands on one of those pine packets! They smell so gooooooood!

I would have a group hug, but only with Neji and Tenten! Gai and Lee use too much aftershave and stuff!

So that, my friends, finishes my account on the NARUTO Rookie 9, and Team Gai smells. If you would like me, Inuzuka Kiba, to do more, I will gladly do so. You'll just have to ask and give me some more time!

Forever your sensitive-nosed friend,  
Inuzuka Kiba!


	5. Sand Sibs

HEYA!! Inuzuka Kiba RETURNS!!

I've been getting extremely positive feedback! So that means that I'll be continuing this! Enjoy!

Now, a lot of you seem to be wondering about only _one _set of people, and that's the cuh-RAZY Sand Sibs! So here we go again! Hop onto the Kiba Express! First stop, Sunagakure, the land of fetishes!

Here, I'll start with the oldest sibling, Temari!

I think that you would agree with me on the fact that Temari's quite a self-confident, even cocky, girl, so you might be surprised to find that she flushes and blushes like crazy when I ask why she smells so much like mandarin oranges.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with smelling like mandarin oranges, lady! It smells good, actually, and I have no idea why she's ashamed. That is, until recently... but... uh, well, she doesn't like me telling.

So, well, yeah, Temari smells like mandarin oranges! She smells like a lot of citrus fruits... um... you know, the kinds you can... uh... no, Temari doesn't like me telling... heck, she doesn't like me _know_ing, but Kankurou told me why she smelled like citrus fruits, so...

Oh, what the hell! I'll let you guys know! But just because you were just _begging_ me to, and you're all awesome and all that wonderful jazz.

Alright... have you ever noticed how Temari's... quite busty? Have you ever wondered why? Well, it's because... because...

She stuffs her bra with mandarin oranges!!

No, I'm just kidding about all that (except for you guys being fantastic and stuff) and Temari smells like mandarin oranges because, apparently, she has a permanent fetish for citrus fruit, and buys them in bulk. I didn't even know that was possible, but there it is.

According to Kankurou (he really was my source of info) she dives into the pile every time it comes and rolls around in them and eats them like crazy until they're all squashed and the pulp leaks through and she's full to bursting.

Then she goes to take a bath with lemon scented bubbles. She washes her clothes with orange-scented detergent, and her shampoo is called 'Citrus Burst'. She also has a grapefruit scented perfume, and lime smelling deodorant. What a nosy brother Kankurou is, eh?

Uh... yeah, so that's why Temari smells like citrus fruit. She has an obsession with them. I guess... to hug her would be like to hug a bundle of oranges and limes and grapefruit and lemon, so I guess I would hug her, and probably accidentally try and eat her, too. Just a thought...

After orange fetish Temari, we have my buddy Kankurou.

Well, he says he not really my buddy, but he saved my life, so he has to be my buddy... right? Doesn't he? Isn't there some law that says that if you save someone's life, you become instant friends with them??!?! It says that in Harry Potter!!!

Anyway, Kankurou smells like grapes. Yes, grapes. Now you're thinking, grapes have a smell? And now I must answer, yes, grapes do have a smell. Perhaps I wasn't being specific enough. Kankurou smells like grape juice that has been sitting around for years in a BOTTLE!

That's right! Kankurou smells like wine! And so, technically, that's grapes! He likes to think of it as grapes more, anyway, so why bother correcting him? The reason for his winey scent is because of... come on, give a guess people. Give a guess...

If you guessed that Kankurou had a wine fetish, you are CORRECT! If you guessed anything else, you are INCORRECT! If you guessed that Kankurou had a wine fetish but in very scientific and complex words, then you are also CORRECT!

And of course, his kabuki paint is mixed with a bit of red wine as well, so his face is like... covered in alchoholic beverage. Apparently, he gets wasted every Wednesday, drinking wine and watching the Harry Potter movies over and over and over again.

Temari said so, anyway. I think she got mad when Kankurou told me why she smelled like citrus fruit, so she tattled on him! Well, as long as I get the info! Don't you guys agree?

I would probably hug Kankurou too, because he saved me and all and I never properly thanked him with a meal or anything. Although... I could probably just ship him some wine!

So that's it with Kankurou! Let's move onto fiesty Gaara!

Now, I'll give you a few moments to guess which fetish Gaara has. It's a prominent fruit in Snow White, it can be red, has seeds, and is called...

...moment...  
...moment...  
...moment...

...an APPLE!

Gaara completes the fruity Sand Sib trio by having an APPLE fetish. Apples, citrus, and grapes! How nice! Anyway, Gaara, like Temari, orders apples in bulk (again, I didn't know that was possible) and gorges himself on them.

He has apple scented SANDBREEZE and sprays everything he owns with it, except his toothbrush and facecloth. He also has a custom apple shampoo, and spends hours just staring at apples in the grocery store. Wouldn't it be nice to hug Gaara, with the appley smells?

Yes... the Sand Sibs are fetishy and fruity, neh?

Anyway, I, Inuzuka Kiba will soon be back, when I think up someone else to investigate and report on!

Oh, and Baki? He has a kiwi fetish. 'Nuff said.


	6. Kabuto and Sound Guys

Yes, a lot of you have been asking me for Kabuto, and Orochimaru. I personally have never met Orochimaru, and I don't think I ever will, now, will I, since Sasuke killed him and all? But I can tell you about Kabuto!

One of Orochimaru's most trusted lackeys -Kabuto Yakushi!

Now, not to be rude or anything, but Kabuto really needs to JUST FCKING DIE! I mean, I was only talking with my dog! And I realize that for other people, this might not seem normal, since my dog doesn't talk back in human tongues, but he didn't have to knock me out for it! What was up with _that_ attack!? I mean, REALLY! I was just talking to my dog like any other Inuzuka, and then he just knocked me out!

Oh, and, uh, if you're wondering about how I knew that imposter was Kabuto... Kakashi-sensei told me.

Anyway, personal issues aside, Kabuto smells like the inside of a helmet of a guy whose head just got blown up by an exploding note. It smells like smoke, blood, snot, and powder! Egghkkk...

But he has his redeeming parts too. He smells a little like clean hospitals and test labs, and also like leaves. However, I still wouldn't hug Kabuto, even if he wasn't a traitor, or didn't beat me up just because he_ felt_ like it.

Ahem. Moving on. Fucking asshole.

Sorry!

Anyway...

There really isn't much to say about the rest of them. All the guys from Sound smell really similar. There are those teeny differences, yes, that seperate them from eachother, but I couldn't even start to describe them and make sense to a non-Inuzuka. It's a Clan Thing.

Well, I guess that's that. I have to go to a mission now...

Bye guys, it's been a blast. Maybe I'll come back to talk again some time in the future, but for now, I'm done with this joint.

See ya!  
Inuzuka Kiba


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